I’m about to finish a Master’s program in rhetoric & composition from Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana. If you don’t know what rhetoric & composition is, you’re not alone. But basically I study writing, but not creative writing (as in I don’t formally study or write creative writing like creative writers, MFA-ers, and others, but I do study writing and that borders on creative writing a lot of times). If you want to know more you can ask, but the one line I use is, “I study writing.” And then when I’m asked to share creative pieces I’ve written, I say, “Not that kind of writing.” In my head my answer is: I study what writing means and what it looks like and who does it and who doesn’t do it or who is kept from it and how it’s done and why it’s done and what that means for the writer and what that means for the reader and how different grammars and grading systems are enforced to perpetuate white supremacy and how various histories and technologies and cultural ideologies create and suppress the expression and transmission of ideas/thought/language and how writers and writing itself makes/takes/creates meaning through composed “texts” (not just words on a page). It’s a bit messy, but it’s fine.

I have a week left in my final spring semester, and like every other experience in my life, when there’s an ending and I’m about to take a next step, I find something to do so I can practice some productive procrastination (that’s what I like to call it, putting the word “productive” there makes me feel better). I have deadlines approaching, final projects and other tasks I need to complete to get my degree, but instead I’m releasing this project. I’m not entirely sure it’s an escapism strategy, but I also know that this semester is strange (and that’s not even thinking about the world in a pandemic right now). Master’s programs are two years, so it’s like running a 800 meter dash through mud—you can’t really not sprint and it’s longer than a burst, but it’s still exhausting and relatively short compared to other things (like 1600 meter races and phd programs, respectively). It’s an ending of sorts, and I’ll have a degree I didn’t have two years ago, but it’s also the start of my professional development as an academic. While I will continue onto a doctoral program and continue to be a grad student, it’s going to be different. Or at least it feels different. Some people see doctoral programs as being in it for the long haul, and that’s what I’m in for.

The songs in this collection are from my time in my master’s program, written from August 2018 to April 2020 in Muncie, Indiana. They’re different and yet similar to my previous collection. I have grown as a musician but I am still that same musician writing instrumental tracks to try and cope with my surroundings, navigate my mental health, and practice some productive procrastination instead of reading, writing, grading, etc. There are a few more instruments in this collection (a prime example being I play an actual bass in the majority of these songs), but there are structures that I fall into because they’re the type of music/songs I like to listen to and create.

***

In titling this entire collection, I was thinking about words that start with deca- since I was going to have ten albums (as an aside: this isn't everything I’ve written in Muncie, just the stuff that’s fit for human consumption). I thought about a decathlon, but since my last track meet was 15 years ago, I thought better of it (even though I used a track metaphor a couple of paragraphs ago). In looking at words that include deca- (like decay, decaffeinated, decant, hendecasyllabic, and others), I saw decalogue. I knew it was the ten commandments, but I hadn’t considered what the various parts of the word meant. So for this project I’m not interested in the ten commands given to Moses, but instead I’m considering the word split into two: deca- and -logue. Deca- as pertaining to ten; -logue as either denoting discourse of a specific type or denoting compilation (like catalogue). Dialogue means a -logue through, across, or apart—which I just think is interesting.

Therefore, a decalogue is a compilation of 10 things denoting discourse of a specified type, which includes commands from the Divine to those following Moses in the desert thousands of years ago. And in this case, it’s ten albums referring to my time as a master’s student: A series of ten conversations with myself as a master’s student. Therefore, each album is titled after something that kept me together in my two years: Some moments are more concrete than others. Some are more escapist. But they’re each mini dialogues with each other, dialogues through, across, or apart from each other, each being separate but not existing without each other. The albums are codependent and definitely weren’t written in the order in which they’ve been published. They’ve been collected and organized by mood/genre because on some days I’ve felt one or two of the emotions, and on others I’ve felt all ten in the span of a few minutes.

That’s what grad school is. It’s a series of conversations, taking place over decades, involving voices from the past and anticipating voices from the future. And having conversations with people around you about the point of our scholarship, about new television shows, about teaching and working with students, and about policies that harm grad students and take advantage of our position. It’s a complicated rhizome of conversations and networks. It’s a bit messy, but it’s fine.

***

In this overview of the project, I have picked two songs from each album that (for the most part) fit the vibe of the specific album. So if there’s a song that catches your attention, feel free to jump to that specific album.

Here they are in order:

I. Bass Lines & Dancy Jams (dancy/groovy songs)
1. groovin’ in my boots
2. lcd screen

II. Reading in the Backyard (acoustic/folky/a bit country at times)
3. porch snacks
4. in my happy feels while listening to the dan in real life soundtrack

III. Pop Punk Will Never Die (pop punk, punk, fuzzy guitars)
5. Oklahoma City had The Flaming Lips and Tulsa had Hanson and
All American Rejects (this out sounds like I just went to a Motion City
Soundtrack reunion tour)
6. I was in one hardcore band and we played our only show at a
church and it wasn’t that great but we had a lot of fun

IV. Worn in Couch Cushions (cinematic songs of a sort)
7. strings and cajons and claps
8. slow build for montages

V. Indie Pop for My Walk to Campus (happy/upbeat indie pop)
9. Icelandic pop music for running naked through the woods
10. plastic toys on summer days

VI. Synth Pop for the Weary Soul (electro synth pop, more upbeat)
11. synths in A Major
12. shakers

VII. Bearded Men in Expensive Flannel (indie rock, some fuzzed guitars, some quieter moments)
13. house parties and potlucks
14. drums for cutie

VIII. Songs for Driving or Thinking (electro synth pop, more downbeat, not necessarily darker)
15. lil’ sabastian loves tycho but andy likes words
16. driving in the rain with new windshield wipers that actually work

IX. Conference Abstracts (shorts of various genres, all less than 1:30 long)
17. starry piano or hairspray and 80s elastic jumpsuits
18. if I played video games more I could have a more witty title

X. Leftovers (the leftovers—some genre fluid/adjacent, some just not as polished)
19. delay pedals and bongos
20. rhythm & bass


Materiality:

At the beginning of grad school I bought Logic Pro X as a way to celebrate starting grad school (and to take advantage of the student discount from Apple). I downloaded it to my 2009 MacBook Pro that I’ve had since my freshman year of college and is now my dedicated music production computer. Even though I can’t update the program because the computer is too old, it helped me shape these songs. I wrote the majority of the songs in Logic Pro X using the hardware specified below. I also used a Native Instrument’s Maschine 2.0 for either entire compositions or specific instruments. To record guitar, bass, the octapad, keyboard, or with anything connected to midi, I used Native Instrument’s Komplete Audio 6. I don’t really have the ear to mix and master well, so they’re as mixed and mastered as my ears think they should be (but if you’re into all that stuff, just suspend your expectations a bit).

Instruments/Hardware:
- Fender Squire Telecaster
- Fender Squire Bass
- Roland Octapad
- Yamaha Electric Piano
- Takamine Santa Fe Acoustic Guitar
- Mitchell Ukulele
- Hohner Melodica
- Native Instrument’s Maschine 2.0
- Native Instrument’s Komplete Audio 6
- An Audio Technica large diaphragm condensor microphone
- Assorted Cables


Album Covers and Write-Ups:

Because the decalogue is also the ten commandments, I went with a picture of Moses smashing the tablets of the law as my common image. (Which also feels like grad school: A rejection of “laws” handed down to us from above as students—but I’ll leave that for another essay.)

The original image is “The Phillip Medhurst Picture Torah 457. Moses breaks the tables of the Law. Exodus cap 32 v 19. After Parmagiano.jpg” from Wikimedia Commons. It has a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

The original is in this album. I then ran the image through PhotoMosh, an online image glitch program. I kept hitting “mosh” until I found images I like and dowloaded them. I then used Canva to design the album covers, keeping with a consistent theme/visual for each album within the project (like my last collection).

Finally, I wrote out these micro essays in Apple Pages and had my writing group take a look at them. Thanks, Bethany, Cole, and Kyle. I also asked Brittney (my partner) to listen to each and every song after I wrote and recorded it.

I think that covers it, so without further ado, I present The Decalogue in all of its parts and conversations.

Like always, if you want to reach out to talk music or about anything at all, you can click “Contact Rook” and it’ll get the message to me.

I hope you and yours are safe, well, and have what you need.

will
(april 24, 2020)